Category: Writers Block
"The darkness consumes me."
I sit here, all alone. I take it, and I feel like stone.
It washes over me in a way I can not describe. When it hits me, all my problems can say goodbye.
My wishes come true, I'm free. Nothing to worry about, the only problem is I'm fading out. Losing control to the bout.
Fading, fading so slowly. One day I may not wake up, and I'll be even more lonely.
Find a place in the outer world, where I can listen to the rain, and talk to all the girls.
I just can't stand this feeling anymore. I wanna stop, but every time I see a pill, I want to pop. I've lost everything in my life, some times I feel like grabbing a knife.
All alone again, don't have anything to do.
When I pop the pill I'm screwed. Starting to feel I'm going to die every time now, my fear just comes in like a snowplow.
It's the only thing that' makes me feel great, but I'm afraid that one day I'll wake up, and find myself in a different state.
So hard to let go, I just can't let it go, please, please don't let anyone know.
Interesting message, but a slightly...odd delivery. It feels as if you're trying too hard to rhyme here.
Addiction may be scoffed at by some, but it's a pretty heavy monkey on one's back sometimes, both hard to shake and sometimes embarrassing when scrutinized.
If you tightened up the rhyme or the meter, or else did away with both and sharpened your imagery, this could be quite a good piece. It's not bad as is, but it doesn't exactly jump up and bite me either. Still, I didn't mind the read, so keep 'em coming.
I agree, think the idea of rhyming was plain in this one, and you don't want that to be plain. You want it to be seen as if it was only done, and not forced.
And remember not every piece must rhyme, there is so many styles of that can be made. I think addiction is one way to be expressed, and I don't think it be something to pass by. Not if it is formed in an attractive piece.